my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
