Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
