She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
