Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
