What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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