are you still at the devil's house?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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