a queef is a wish your heart makes.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
