Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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