I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
