so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
