3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My room smells like vodka and shame
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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