totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
