best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
