Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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