I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There r osticjed everywhere
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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