Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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