so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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