I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
