Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
