It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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