i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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