haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
