So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
