Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sext me about skeletons
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we should paint friendship bongs
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
