:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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