Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
this hospital has no fireball
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
