she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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