I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
