Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
