time to smoke my breakfast
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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