I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
dude i'm inner monologue high
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
