dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
