i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
