WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
