I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
