Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
