I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
