so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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