I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You ruined the universe
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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