i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
