I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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