smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
