You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
