I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
