This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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