i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
