is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
