You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
