My first STD was from a foam party
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
