You're completely useless in the revolution.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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