you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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